


‘try to quiet the voices inside your head’

by n0t_bess1e_b4ss_0n_the_b4ss



Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Cia is angry because the king sent a child with PTSD to fight her, Don't Like Don't Read, Hearing Voices, I’m in ASL 2 I’m pretty much a professional, Multi, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Selective Mute Sheik, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Sheik is a Separate Character, Sheik is a girl, Sheik is like sixteen, Sheik uses sign language, Urbosa elects herself as mom, everyone loves desert baby, just think BoTW but with characters from the other games too, now she hears voices, oh yeah, she had so much to live for, what game is this set in?? All of them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-25
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2020-03-14 18:44:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18953587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/n0t_bess1e_b4ss_0n_the_b4ss/pseuds/n0t_bess1e_b4ss_0n_the_b4ss
Summary: Her whole life up until capture by Hyrulian forces, Sheik was taught to be nothing but a monster. Now, living among regular people, she has no idea how to act normal. But she’s getting there, slowly but surely.—or: LOVE IS STORED IN THE SHEIK





	‘try to quiet the voices inside your head’

Sheik’s life was a nightmare from start to finish. Deprived of a family or love or basic care a child should have, she was, instead, morphed into her clan’s own personal monster, a beast only meant to hurt others. That was always going to be her purpose until the day she died.

And then, her rope ladder was dropped from heaven.

**The first time Sheik got a pat on the head was from Impa.**

Pity. That’s what everyone in Castle Town treated Sheik with. It was either that or fear. She didn’t know what was more insulting, people treating her like a monster or people acting like they were actually content with her.

The royal court (mainly Zelda, though) felt bad for her, so she was allowed a place in the castle as long as she worked. And that’s what she did. She acted as a servant for anyone who needed her to pay off the things she’s done.

One of the many people she met while living there was Impa, Zelda’s personal bodyguard and a brute of a woman. Their relationship was fine, if not a bit shaky.

“Sheik, I need you.” Impa called out when she spotted the girl reading.

Sheik obeyed, setting the book down and padding over to the woman. She tilts her head at her.

Impa had gotten used to the girl’s selective mutism a long time ago. She didn’t know if Sheik even talked before the clan was raided, but she communicated fine. All she had to do was take an order, nod, and then be on her way. Impa wondered if she was too shy to do anything else.

“Princess Zelda and the court need some documents to be delivered to certain tribes. They’re warnings of possible war and alliance agreements.”

A witch that went by the name of Cia had been terrorizing Hyrule for quite some time. No matter how much they beat her troops down, they just kept coming back. The possibility of an all out war rises higher and higher every day and Castle Town needed allies they could rely on and, in return, protect.

“Can I trust you to get this done?”

Sheik nodded. Impa smiled slightly.

“Good.”

The red-eyed girl was slightly startled when one of Impa’s hands rubbed against her head. She flinched, recoiling backwards a little.

“Oh, I apologize!” Impa drew her hand back, “I should have known you wouldn’t like being touched.”

Sheik blinked multiple times. It didn’t hurt. She didn’t get hurt when she was touched. Why? What made it not hurt? Usually people only wanted to harm her.

She reached up to her head, tapping the top. Impa furrowed her eyebrows.

“But I thought-“

Sheik tapped more, so Impa put her hand back on her head, rubbing gently.

Sheik held perfectly still, pressing into the touch. She was trying to understand the sensation rolling over her. Happiness? Love? Comfort? Those were not things she was very familiar with.

Wasn’t touch bad? Touch usually left her hurt, bleeding, in pain. But Impa’s touch...Impa’s touch didn’t cause any of that at all. In fact, it made her feel less hurt.

“Are you okay, Sheik?” Impa looked down at the girl, slight worry shining in her eyes. “You look a little out of it. Do you need to sit down for a moment before you leave?”

Sheik shook her head and finally pulled back. The feeling whisked away like that and she couldn’t help but feel cold and sad while walking out to the stables.

** The first time she was cared for was by Urbosa. **

**_Let me out let me out let me out LET ME OUT LET ME OUT OUTOUTOUT_ **

Sheik sighed, clutching her skull in a near death grip. Despite the heat wavering from the ground, she sunk down to her knees and searched for a cool spot in the sand below.

_Stop please…_

For the past five or so hours, her mind had been filled with non stop yelling and screeching to be let free. The voices inside of her head were not happy, not one bit, and with nothing else to do they let out that pent up spiteful hatred on the poor girl.

See, Sheik knew she was damned. She knew she was the worst thing to ever grace Hyrule and she knew that she was an abomination of nature. Her body was tainted and, from her horrible deeds urged on by her clan, the voices arouse. One, Dark, did nothing but snarl and growl about wanting to kill and spill blood. The other, Soul, cried to be released, to be free, to be _dead_.

Sheik was just trying to make it into Gerudo Village, as the chieftain was needed to sign one of the scrolls. She was dedicated to get the job done and to please the princess and Impa, but the journey was putting her on pins and needles.

The desert wasn’t the most pleasant place in Hyrule, but it’s what Sheik knew best and was most adapted to. But despite her spending her entire life living in a biome where the sun was always actively trying to kill her, the trek felt hellish. It didn’t help that everywhere she stepped was definitely claimed territory of potentially dangerous desert-dwellers, not one bit helpful that she was oh so tired, and that the voices in her head would not leave them be.

**_LET ME FREE LET ME OUT LET ME-_ **

**KILL STOP HOLDING BACK KILL KILL**

Sour sweat rolls down Sheik’s face. Just sitting there in the sand was not a good idea, especially since the sun was at its highest and those ultraviolet jerks were just aching to burn her to a crisp. She stands with some difficultly.

**_PLEASE PLEASE LET ME OUT_ **

**I WANT TO KILL I WANT TO HURT**

They were arguing. Of course they were were arguing.

In a way, Sheik could understand what they desired. They wanted peace, a release from the hell that was their existence. For Soul, that was rest. And for Dark, that was bloodshed. And as much as Sheik, deep down inside, longed for that as well, she couldn’t simply kneel over dead. She felt like she still had a role to play and, right now, that was delivering important castle documents.

Teetering along, Sheik glanced around at landmarks. Not that there was much. Just sand. Cactus. Shrubs. More sand. The occasional bird or skittering mouse. Maybe even a snake.

**_I want out_ **

**It hurts I want others to feel it**

Calm, placid.

The sudden voices centered on her startled Sheik out of her reverie, nearly making the girl careen herself into a cactus.

**_Let me free let me free I want my rest_ **

They weren’t yelling, and that scared Sheik beyond mere words could convey.

_No...no we have to go to a village._

**Kill them**

**_You rest I rest we rest together_ **

Sheik once more took hold of her pounding skull, trying to block out the noise or counter the throbbing sensation thrumming in her temples. Soul and Dark’s voices were scratching and scraping against her mind, harsh and quick like a whip.

**_We rest below_ **

**In the dark**

_NO-no no we rest later-_

**_We rest NOW NOW NOW_ **

**PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE**

Sheik lurched forward, a breathless scream ripping itself from her throat. It felt like the voices were taking shape and trying to force their way out of her body.

_Dark stop Soul stop Voices stop-!_

**_LET ME OUT LET ME OUT_ **

**LET ME OUT LET ME OUT**

The physical pain Sheik’s body wielded could not compare to her mental pain. In retaliation to the girl’s attempt to silence the voices, they began toiling over in her skull, laying a permanent fog over her thought process and making so many simple things-

Sheik lurched over on the spot as she nearly tumbled into a patch of prickly pears.

-like walking, for example, a dangerous act in and of itself.

She was so tired, physically and emotionally. Yet she couldn’t bring it upon herself to hate the voices; they just wanted to feel right again. Bloodshed is what one has learned to live by, and the other just wanted to sleep.

Gerudo Village was in sight. Sheik pulled her hood over her head and kept walking, eventually getting to the streets. A few of the women glanced over at her, but recognized the patterns on her clothing and left her be. She wished they would interfere, though, because new voices would block out the shrieking.

Dark, Soul, everything seemed to be yelling loud enough for the damned to hear. Sheik’s misty mind was filled to the brim with it, and the girl could swear she heard it echoing off the house walls around her. A long, bloodcurdling scream that never ended.

All because she would not lie down.

_Please….stop…_

**_We rest I stop_ **

**We hurt I stop**

Sheik rounded a corner and took a knee, trying to look as natural as possible. The shade she crouched under brought little comfort from the sweltering heat. She panted and went to get up- she was so close- but could not find the energy to stand. The world was starting to blur together, sound and feeling becoming one.

Would it hurt to rest just a minute? Just for a minute…

_Only for….a minute…_

“Little Bird?”

That sound, a sound so beautifully sharp.

“Stand Little Bird. I want to see your face. It’s been awhile.”

A commanding tone, a beautifully sharp commanding tone.

A new feeling formed on the top of her head, one that gave the girl an ungodly burst of strength. In a split second she was on her feet, still trembling despite the temperature outside, and looked up at Urbosa with what could only be known as relief.

The Gerudo chieftain had a blade in hand, apparently having used it to tap the top of her head.

“Why are you lying on the ground so? You do not look injured. And of all people, I know you would know being in the sand is the worst place to take shelter from the sun.”

A smile twitched on Urbosa’s lips. She and Sheik had met multiple times before, enough times for the latter to have earned a nickname. As desert-dwellers they had to look out for one another, even if one was an assassin from a horrible clan. Or, rather, was.

“It’s good to see you again, Little Bird.”

Sheik said nothing in reply- no surprise there, but she didn’t even react to her friend’s presence. Instead, she let her eyes train on the weapon gleaming in golden sunlight.

**_We can rest_ **

**We can kill**

Urbosa sensed something was wrong. She bent down to Sheik’s height, angling her chin to look up at her.

“Look at me, Little Bird.”

Thoughts were trying to push their way through the fog. Thoughts that, if Urbosa were able to read minds, she would certainly have smacked Sheik for them.

**_Yes yes_ **

**Yes YES**

Although it would not be unwelcome…

“Sheik!”

Sheik snapped her attention back to the Gerudo woman, using her wobbly legs to make small distance between them. The voices were still howling in her mind.

Urbosa is frowning in worry and confusion. She sets a hand on the girl’s shoulder.

“What has happened to you? You are usually more attentive than this…”

Sheik glanced at her knife again, a simple thought fighting its way through the fog.

**Gut**

Oh how she wished Urbosa would just _GUT_ her, if only so that these infuriating voices could wail no longer.

Sheik swallowed thickly and bobbed her head slowly, her eyes never leaving her needle.

**_Rest rest rest_ **

She could tell Urbosa was becoming increasingly concerned with her lack of response.

“You do not seem in any condition to tread anywhere, Little Bird. You should rest before you do something disastrous.”

Sheik gripped the hand with the knife, and brought it up between the two of them.

“Sheik? What do you think you’re-”

 _SLICHK_.

It took everything in Urbosa to not scream and cause a scene when Sheik basically makes her stab her in the hand. The pain the girl is now in registers immediately and she sinks to her knees, fingernails curling into the fresh slice in delicate flesh. Blood is drooling everywhere.

Urbosa snaps out of her trance-like state and hauls Sheik up by her shoulders, practically dragging her into her house. A few people stare in both curiosity and worry, especially once they noticed the splatters of red in the sand.

By now, Sheik has become much more attentive with her surroundings and situation. She stares at her gashed hand like she had no idea what had happened, like she hadn’t just deliberately stabbed herself. Guilt is thick in the back of her throat.

After digging through a drawer for supplies, Urbosa notices Sheik rubbing a closed fist in circles against her chest. That was sign language. The girl was saying sorry.

“No, no, don’t apologize. Not yet. Just let me help you.”

Sheik nodded slightly and let Urbosa stem the bleeding. It took a worrying amount of time to stop the flow, but it eventually oozed to a halt. The Gerudo chieftain used water and special cactus juice remedies to clean the wound before wrapping it with thick white bandages.

“There. That should be good...for now.”

Urbosa was a sight for sore eyes, and Sheik felt like she had to get to her, wanting nothing more than to jump into her arms and be hugged-

But she didn’t budge from her position in the chair she was seated in. She kept her head angled down to the ground, deep shame burning on her ears and in her eyes. The voices in her head have been reduced down to a whisper, not quite completely satisfied, but pleased with the pain she had brought upon herself.

“What in Hylia’s name pushed you to harm yourself in such a way?” Usbosa finally asked.

It all rushed back then. Dark and Soul’s relentless screaming, the fight, Sheik’s will slipping as she almost fell into sleep...stabbing herself with the knife like she was a crazy person...

Ah yes, the golden question Sheik hoped she could avoid.

The girl turned her head further away from Urbosa, feeling….sadness? No...shame rise up in her chest. How could she ever explain such a thing…?

By now, Urbosa probably would have usually snapped at her for taking so long to answer, but she was being uncharacteristically quiet. Her eyes searched the girl, and it made them feel oh so terribly exposed.

Finally, Sheik’s hands raised and began to flutter, despite the pain in one of them. Urbosa wasn’t very fluent in sign language, but she could put letters together when fingerspelled and understood snippets of what was being said to her.

_Head hurt….tired and hurt….wanted rest._

“I could see that.“ Urbosa said. “Maybe you should?”

 _Can’t_.

Sheik finally dared to make eye contact with the chieftain, only to flinch back when she noticed the cacophony of emotions swirling in her eyes. Anger, hatred, fear, conflict...concern.

_Sorry U-R-B-O-S-A….wanted it to stop. Wanted voices to stop. Voices...never quiet. Voices......always yell. Feel..crazy. Hate it._

When she made no move to make a response, Sheik continued, her shoulders starting to shake.

_Wanted screaming to stop, wanted it all to stop. It hurt, world hurt, all hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt hurt-_

Urbosa’s hands gripped hers tightly as she started pulling at her ears.

“Do not further injure yourself.”

Sheik shuddered, leaning into the woman’s side. It was enough of a surprise to make her loosen her grip, and Sheik quickly wrapped her arms around her midsection, hands still signing.

_Sorry sorry sorry it hurt bad. Wanted it to STOP sorry U-R-B-O-S-A sorry…._

Sheik couldn’t comprehend this sadness that plagued her. There was nothing to be sad over (at least she thought so), and yet the girl felt that if she let go of Urbosa, she would slip away into that deep dark sea of sadness and never return.

A hand was rested on her head and an arm slinked around her waist.

“It’s alright, Little Bird. You are safe here, and I will not allow anyone to bring harm upon you.” Urbosa’s voice was soft, a comfort Sheik didn’t know she needed until now.

A beautiful, comforting tone that could only come from the Gerudo chieftain.

Sheik curled into her softness and comfort and relaxed. Letting the stress and dull pains ebb away from her form. She was safe here with Urbosa, she was at peace….and maybe, one day, if she was ever relieved of her duties in Castle Town, she was return to the Gerudo Village and live among a desert clan that wouldn’t morph her into a monster.

** The first time she felt less lonely was with a wolf. **

He had gotten caught in a fox trap. Sheik risked getting bitten or mauled to untangle the wire around his neck, which was threatening to choke him to death or cut deep into his throat. Strangely enough, he didn’t attack, rather held perfectly still.

The storm above was a drizzle, but it was beginning to pick up, as rainy season was in full swing. That’s why Sheik was starting to hurry through the forest, not wanting to get caught under a tree if it was struck by lightning. If she went any faster, she might have missed the sharp whine.

She stopped and saw the wolf slightly closer to her. She tilts her head. He does as well.

_You want to follow?_

The wolf barked. There was no way he understood her signing. Probably just picked up on her emotion and body language. Still, she waved him to come with her.

Together, they trekked through the forest as rain pelted down harder and harder. Sheik was desperately trying to save her pack of scrolls from the onslaught of water droplets so the ink wouldn’t run. Luckily, a cave came up ahead and she ducked into it, quickly followed by her new lupine companion.

They both shook off like domesticated wet dogs.

Sheik sat down in a dry area. The wolf does as well. For a long time, they’re silent.

Then, Sheik pulled off her pack and searched for the map she had. The wolf sticks his muzzle right in the middle of it and then looked at her with what she thought was curiosity.

_You. Strange._

The wolf swivels his head to the side, his ears flopping over. Sheik blinked at him. Could he really know what she was signing? Even though he was...an animal? No way. That was impossible.

_I’m delivering scrolls. Fun, huh? There might be war. Princess worried._

The wolf looked down at her pack and nosed the scroll Urbosa had signed. He blinked up at Sheik slowly before flopping over.

_Weird dog._

Her new companion barked, almost like he was offended. Sheik is stunned.

_You...understand?_

The wolf nodded. Oh goddesses, the wolf nodded. Wolves can’t do that!

_Who are you?_

Someone is staring back at Sheik. Someone is smiling back at Sheik. Someone is there.

A strange sense of comfort rolls over Sheik and she lays back. She idly scratches behind the wolf’s ear, thinking this all over.

_You’re weird. I like you. Come with me?_

The wolf barks and Sheik smiles, almost like the boy she saw had been.

** The first time she experienced a hug was with Kass. **

It had been a long time since Sheik visited the Rito village. And getting there was just as difficult as it was the first few times.

Eventually, she arrived and started to navigate the town. She either had to find Teba or Revali to get them to agree to the alliance. But as she walked, she found herself looking for a different bird entirely. She felt like she was looking for him so she could avoid him.

But it didn’t work, as he found her first.

“Song Bird, is that you?” A brilliant blue Rito raised his head from a perch, eyes growing wide. Only one Rito in the whole world called her that. “It is!”

Sheik froze as Kass swooped down to her, his wings opened wide. He was angry, he was angry-

She tensed a little when he held her against his chest, in a hold that was not crushing, not suffocating, not angry. His wings were wrapped around her, yes, he was squeezing, yes, but…gently. Kass was swaying back and forth, laughing joyously. He wasn’t angry?

“Song Bird, is something wrong?” Kass asked worriedly, retracting a little when he noticed that Sheik wasn’t returning the hug. “You’re acting like you never received a hug before!”

He chuckled, voice trailing off when Sheik gave a shy shrug.

“...You’ve never been hugged before?”

An awkward so-so hand gesture.

“Not…Not even once?”

Sheik shook her head. Sure, she knew what it was, she wasn’t stupid, but she never really received physical affection in her clan. Hugging was just something she avoided, as other people did, too. They didn’t want to touch her.

But Kass...Kass was different.

Kass and Sheik bonded well over their love for music. When the girl made trips to the village (mainly for mercenary or messaging work), she would spend time to learn new songs from the Rito. Although it was a rare occasion, multiple other avians would perch nearby to hear them play together.

“Well, if you can learn intricate ballads, then surely you can learn how to hug properly!”

Sheik drew her harp, ready to begin practicing.

“No no, put that aside. We don’t need that.” Kass gently took it from her and set it out of her reach. Sheik suddenly feeling very vulnerable. She shrunk up a little bit more.

“Here, open your arms like this.” Kass slowly opened his wings and Sheik did the same, deciding not to tell him that she did know how to hug, since he looked to be enjoying their time together. “Now you wrap it around the person you want to hug.” He wrapped his wings around her. “And gently squeeze.” Sheik felt Kass hug her a little bit more.

“See? It’s nice, isn’t it?” Kass let go. “Here, hug me now!”

Sheik recalled the directions: open arms, go to victim, wrap and squeeze. Kass patted her head when she hugged him the best she could, looking up to make sure she was doing it right and not accidentally hurting him. She wasn’t.

“Isn’t it great to hug somebody?”

Sheik nodded and nuzzled her face into his soft feathers. It was nice. Really nice. And felt really, really safe. Safer than her bedroom back in the castle, which was saying something. It felt like nothing could touch her from the outside, safe right here with Kass.

“Do you like it?”

Sheik nodded.

“Hugging usually makes people happier, especially if they’re sad or hurting on the inside.”

Happier?

“It can make them feel a little more safe, as it can serve as a reminder that they’re not alone in the world.”

Happier…

When Sheik finally returned to the ground with Revali’s signature, she walked up to Wolf, who was waiting patiently for her, opened her arms, and wrapped them around his body. The lupine blinked, glancing down as she squeezed lightly. Then, he licked her cheek, tail wagging.

Sheik liked it. Her touch-starved self really liked it. She liked hugging. It felt safe, it felt warm, it felt nice.

It felt…comforting.

** The first time she received and gave a gift was with Sidon. **

“So, an alliance, huh?” Sidon asked Sheik after she left King Dorephan’s chamber. She looked up at him and nodded. “Well, if the Ritos are in, then we are, too! We’re a package, you know?”

Sheik tilted her head at him.

“With sushi.” Sidon snickered, “Anyway, I’ll put my name down, too. Princess Zelda is just. I wouldn’t mind some action, either.”

He padded over to a small container filled with beautiful quills. He noticed Sheik eyeing them and grinned toothily at her.

“Would you like one, small one?”

Sheik nodded shyly, taking out her rupee bag.

“No no, put that away.”

Sheik stopped, tilting her head. He didn’t want payment?

“Think of it as a gift. Have you ever gotten a gift?”

No, she don’t think so. Unless payment for killing someone counted as a gift.

“Trust me, small one, you don’t need to pay me back. It’s something to say thank you!”

It sounded like a reward. Was it like a reward?

Sheik gave a little nod.

“Alright, give me a second.” Sidon pokes through the container before holding a few quills out.

A brilliant fire-gradient feather, an iridescent thin wing, a large leaf with silvery indents, and one with an intricate interlacing metal design.

“Our shopkeeper tried making a few new quills instead of the standard ones. At first I thought he went a little overboard, but they’re actually really nice. You can pick the one that catches your fancy.” Sidon said.

Sheik stared down at the various options, glancing back up at the prince a few times. Which one did he want her to take? What if it was a trap?

“You don’t like any of them?”

No, she liked the one with the reds and oranges. It reminded her of fire.

“Choose whatever you like!”

She got to choose?

“Go ahead, don’t be shy!” Sidon encouraged. “Pick any one that you want.”

What she wants? She really gets to choose?

Sheik tentatively reached out and took the fire gold pen, glancing up at Sidon to make sure it was absolutely okay.

“Good choice!” The prince beamed, “I hope the pen works to your liking. Tell me if it doesn’t work.”

Sheik stared at the item, slowly taking out her rupees. Surely, he wanted some kind of payment. He couldn’t give out something this beautiful for free.

“No no, I said put that away!” Sidon huffed, flaring his gills a little. “This is a gift. You don’t have to give me anything, I promise.”

Oh. Sheik nodded and Sidon grinned again. He reached down and ruffled the top of her head, frizzing up her hair.

“Now, is there anything else I can do for you, small one?”

Sheik liked Sidon. She really liked him. He was nice and funny and his presence was welcoming. She felt like she didn’t deserve his kindness and that she should repay him in some way.

Sidon tilted his head when the girl began motioning for him to follow her. Curious, he went along with her as they walked out of Zora’s Domain and towards the treacherous path leading to the city. Finally, she stops and looked around, occasionally patting her thigh and snapping. After a moment, a wolf emerges from the line of trees.

“Nayru!” Sidon yelped, lurching back a little. “Oh. Oh! Oh, he’s your friend!”

Sheik grinned and nodded, scratching the top of Wolf’s head. She beckoned Sidon to do the same, and the Zora prince couldn’t hold himself back from petting all over the friendly beast.

_He can understand what I’m signing! Isn’t that amazing? A wolf! We’re going so be such a good team! Best friends! You can be on our team, too! You’re cool, S-I-D-O-N!_

Sidon is confused at the way Sheik is fluttering and moving her hands. He tilts his head.

“I’m sorry, small one, but I don’t know what you’re, err, doing.”

Sheik mouthed a dejected “oh” and her ears drooped a little. Sidon noticed her change in attitude and then perked up.

“But! Maybe you can teach me?”

That makes the girl brighten back up.

So, that’s what they do. Beneath a canopy of trees, Sheik teaches Sidon a variety of signs by demonstrating and then writing the meaning on a blank scroll with her new quill. The entire time the Zora prince looks very intrigued with what he’s learning. He even says it was a gift.

** The first time she felt care was with Midna. **

After Sheik finally got Daruk’s signature and arrived back at Castle Town, she was exhausted. She wanted nothing more than to go to bed, but something caught her eyes. An imp sitting on one of the window sills, staring dejectedly at the rain droplets pattering on the glass. Sheik tells her wolf companion to stay there for a moment before approaching. When the Twili notices the girl staring, she turns away.

“Go away, Sheik. Allow me to wallow in my own misery in peace.” She muttered harshly.

That’s right, Midna had been forced out of her home and into one she wasn’t adapted to. The change and grief and anxiety must have been crushing her.

Sheik would have left, if it weren’t for a nagging feeling in the back of her head telling her to stay. She stood right where she was. Midna raised her head.

“What are you doing? Leave. Go away. I have nothing for you. Go tell everyone you finished your job or whatever.”

There was another job to be done, but Sheik wasn’t sure what it was exactly. Midna just repeated for her to leave the longer she stood. Again. Again and again and again. When the red-eyed girl refused to move, the Twili’s voice got increasingly more frustrated.

“Do I have to escort you out myself?” She hissed, standing and hovering to eye level with the desert-dweller.

Sheik shook her head.

“Then what are you doing here?”

She doesn’t know.

“Let me grieve in peace!”

Still there.

“Do you not understand what I’m saying?” Midna opened her claws and began forming a ball of magic.

Sheik still stared at her.

“I am not going to fight you, if that is what you are looking for. This is hardly an appropriate place.”

Sheik wasn’t looking for a fight. No, there is something else.

“If you are looking to gloat, just get it over with already!”

They aren’t here to gloat.

Even when Midna drew her arm back, she still did not leave.

“Why are you still here?! It’s not like you care!” Midna yelled, letting the magic loose. It barely brushed Sheik’s arm. Midna never attacked like that, she would never shoot so sloppily and so carelessly.

She wasn’t herself. 

“Get… Get out of here…”

Midna’s voice cracked, crumpling to her knees. She hunched over on herself taking in a shuddering breath. Her shoulders began trembling as her entire frame was wracked with irregular shaking. High-pitched noises emanated from her.

She wasn’t okay.

Sheik took a small step forward. She wasn’t like Midna, but maybe she could be like her for a little bit. In her current form, the Twili was quite smaller, but that wouldn’t be a problem.

Sheik kneeled behind her, wrapping her arms around the imp. She felt Midna freeze up, breath hitching for a second. A little squeeze like Kass demonstrated.

A hug. Would that make her happier?

The noises became quieter. Sheik remained crouched and hugged her, letting her grieve. She wanted to say something, anything that might bring her more comfort. But the most she could do is hug her a little more and hope that it brought her some happiness like it did with Wolf.

After an unknown amount of time, she finally stopped, slowly pulling back.

“Sheik…?”

_Yes?_

“Why did you do that…?”

_K-A-S-S said it makes people happier._

Sheik still signed, even though Midna had no idea what she was doing or saying. She wanted to ask if she was happier.

“You know, people said you’re just an empty monster...you’re supposed to leave. You’re not supposed to care.” Midna mumbled, head hanging down. “You’re not supposed to care about anyone…so why did you stay? Why did you hug me? Why me? Why? I just-“

A tear was dripping down her left cheek, slightly translucent. She rears back when Sheik tried to touch her again.

“You’re not a monster, are you…?” Midna whispered. Sheik stared back in silence. “You’re not a monster at all. You’re none of those things. You’re...you’re good.”

_I’m good?_

“A good light-dweller. Not all of them are. Like the ones who pester you, too.”

_Oh. Yeah, to hell with them!_

Sheik heard a small yip and turned to the doorway where she had told Wolf to wait. He has stepped inside, his ears perked up and staring at the Twili. Sheik shakes her shoulder and points.

“You-“

For a moment, Midna is in shock.

Then, she launches herself at the wolf, wrapping her arms around his furry neck and sobbing uncontrollably. The lupine is whining and whimpering and howling, trying to embrace her with his paws. It doesn’t exactly work, but it doesn’t matter because they’re together and Sheik couldn’t be more proud.

** The first time she spoke was around Zelda. **

Zelda really hated waking up Sheik after her long trip to four different tribes, but she was needed and she was supposed to wake the desert-dweller if that was the case.

“Rise and shine, Sheik,” Zelda said, opening the curtains and letting whatever sunlight is outside in. “I hope you’ve slept well.”

Sheik lifted her head from her pillow and blinked blearily at the princess. Her ears perked and she quickly got out of bed, ready to take orders.

_Slept good. Z-E-L-D-A ok? Miss Z-E-L-D-A._

Zelda couldn’t help but smile. She liked how close she was to Sheik. In fact, she quickly took on the role of a big sister for the desert-dweller.

“Yes, yes, I’m fine.” She said, understanding most of the girl’s signs. “Get dressed, okay? I need you for something.”

She stepped out into the hall so Sheik could change. Once the girl walks out, she starts leading her through the castle.

_We go where?_

“You’ll see.”

Zelda couldn’t help but grin as they got closer and closer to a set of doors Sheik usually wasn’t allowed to go through. When they passed, a brilliant garden is thriving before them.

_Oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! Flowers!_

The flowers were, in fact, the most beautiful sight in the private garden. There were so many, so alive and colorful.

_Pretty flowers! Pretty!_

“That’s not all the flowers,” Zelda grabbed a special gift from behind a bush, cradling it gently in her arms. Sheik’s euphoria couldn’t have spiked any higher.

_Flower! Crown! Flower crown!_

Sheik flapped her hands in a fast paced manner as she signed rapidly, gushing out emotions as Zelda placed the elegant accessory over her head. It was a tad larger than expected, however, and fell down over her ears a little, but the desert-dweller didn’t seem to mind at all.

There’s a lump in Sheik’s throat and she quickly tries to swallow it. She wish she didn’t feel like she was going to cry, but she has never had someone care for her like this. Love her the way this princess does right now.

“Do you like it?” Zelda placed a crown over her own head. “I used as many different flowers as I could find in here. Even-”

She hadn’t noticed Sheik tearing up as she stared at the centerpiece of her crown.

_Delicate…_

“What’s wrong?” Zelda asked in a burst of worry.

“Thank you.”

That isn’t said with her hands.

Zelda is paralyzed by shock. She had never heard Sheik speak before, and hearing the husky voice feels like the biggest honor in all of Hyrule.

_Nice. Really nice. Pretty. Don’t deserve this. Don’t. But._

Then again:

“Thank you.”

Zelda crushes the girl in a hug.

** The first time she felt love, she didn’t want to let go. **

Dark and Soul we’re screeching on that day. On that dark, stormy, cold day, the voices howled like rabid dogs. The pain was too much, but Sheik went on.

The sudden outbreak of war scared every civilian, but the alliance of tribes were ready. What they weren’t ready for was Cia to lead a head-front attack, so the King made a decision. He was going to send in a distraction- a scapegoat. That just so happened to be a certain ex-assassin that he could use at his disposal.

And it hurt.

It ached, rapping against Sheik’s head. It was agonizing to watch, to DO, down to the voices, to all her regrets and frustrations. She had to, she had to release them.

**YES YES YES**

Dark screamed a terrible scream when she began slashing at clumsy Moblins and Bokoblins.

**_HURT SLEEP SLEEP LET US GET SLEEP_ **

Soul yowled whenever a blade whizzed by, desperate for it to puncture a vessel and cause her to bleed out all over the earth.

Sheik felt pain explode across her face as it crashed into her head, but it wasn’t the pain she usually felt when an enemy manages to land an attack on her. No.

It was agony, the realization they have to fight this horrible, stupid battle. She didn’t want to. This wasn’t fair, this wasn’t fair at all. Why? This fight, this battle, she doesn’t want to fight, she doesn’t want to hurt these poor beasts. They slashed, parried, spat spells out. They don’t want this, they don’t want this. A Lizalfos struck her with the brunt of its weapon’s handle, knocking Sheik to the ground.

It raised the blade and, for a moment, Sheik prepared herself for the inevitable stab. Then, she kicked the scaly beast in the knee and ripped the weapon away when it stumbled. In one swift motion, she drove it through its stomach.

They both wanted to scream. It was agonizing, horrifying to watch. It was too painful, too painful to bear. Stop it, stop stabbing, why? Why self why?

Sheik drove it deeper and deeper as it went all the way to the hilt. Dirty blood and guts spill out onto her and she gags a little when some residue gets in her open mouth.

She wished she didn’t have to see this, do this. It’s worse because this feels like the only thing that solidified the fact that she was still there. Still alive.

The weapon finally comes free and the Lizalfos is released from that torture segment, collapsing into a pool of its own gore. Sheik turtles, begging to stop fighting, stop everything. Why didn’t the pain go away?

The pain continued. The killing continued. The screaming continued. Everything continued.

Sheik’s tears did not stop.

When She appeared in the field, Sheik didn’t draw her knives. No, she dropped it, threw it into the river or flung it as far away as possible. All of them. She dug out all of her daggers and weapons and let them clatter to the dirt. Cia stared at her in shock, screaming and aiming conjured blades at her. The girl didn’t move. She fired no spells, threw no items, nothing.

Sheik raised her head and held her arms out.

Cia stared, almost in bewilderment. She shook her head and yelled again, aiming lasers around Sheik. Sheik didn’t move.

She summoned orbs and fired it all around Sheik. Sheik didn’t move.

She drove the blades until Sheik’s desert attire was torn, but Sheik still did not move.

The magical swords lowered. She stared at Sheik, trying to understand why. From below, the girl waved her arms around, asking for her to come down. Cia slowly did so, blades still aimed and ready to strike. Sheik walked forward, wrapped her arms the best they could around her, and gently squeezed.

Cia was shocked and recoiled for a second, raising a blade. Sheik didn’t move. She was shaking, curled up, and tense, but she didn’t move. She waited patiently, watched as the sword slowly lowered back onto the ground.

All the blades clattered to the earth. Cia is still stunned, but she’s starting to understand more. And with that comes anger. The girl holding onto is but a child. A blood-soaked, traumatized, helpless child the kingdom sent to fight her and her troops all alone.

She pulled back, which made Sheik flinch a little.

“Shh, shh,” Cia said, caressing a blood-splattered cheek, “I’m not going to hurt you.”

Sheik is actually surprised.

_You’re not?_

She catches herself.

 _Sorry_.

_Don’t be sorry._

Sheik’s eyes go wide.

_You can understand me? Like, really? Fluently? You understand?_

_Of course. Unlike the idiots in this kingdom, I actually know what’s necessary to know._

Cia’s hands wave a little as she thinks of what to say next.

_They sent you here all alone? Really? No other troops?_

_Yes. I’m just disposable to them. I came from a really bad clan and the court has been looking for a way to get rid of me for months._

Cia’s eyes narrowed and she stood up, marching past Sheik without another word or sign. The girl leapt up, tugging on her dress.

_What are you doing?_

_Taking care of something._

_Don’t hurt anyone._

_I won’t._

What Cia did was something Sheik wasn’t expecting. She stormed right into the castle, bypassing the guards and charging right up to the king. She threatened him with her conjured blades, but stayed true to her word and didn’t touch the royal.

“I’m going to say this once and you better listen closely,” She hissed lowly, “That girl over there is not your pawn you can send out and get killed. She is not your slave or your scapegoat or some symbol of your power. She is a human being and you will treat her as one. And, if you don’t, I will rain hellfire on you and resurrect you each time you die so you can live an endless cycle of torture until you feel what you have brought upon her. Do you understand?”

Wryly, the king nodded.

“Good.”

Cia retracted her weapons and then turned to Sheik, who’s stunned.

_Why’d you do that for me? You barley know me._

_You gave me a chance, didn’t you? I mean, you were waving your arms around and risking your life just to give me a hug. You’re still good, S-H-E-I-K. Don’t ever think otherwise._

Cia holds the girl close, who returns the embrace tightly.

_You are loved._

** She was loved. **

**Author's Note:**

> LOVE IS STORED IN THE SHEIK!!!!!


End file.
